The Big Question: Can You Trust Someone You Meet Online?
One of the most frequently asked online dating questions is:
“How do I know if someone is genuine?”
With millions of people using dating apps and social platforms, it’s natural to wonder whether the person on the other side is authentic. While many daters are real and looking for connection, others may misrepresent themselves or worse yet, attempt scams.
The good news? There are reliable ways to separate the genuine from the fake.
- Peter T. Bryant PhD, in his article addressing Augmented Reality as it relates to trust in dating, states that “Everyone has a private self, and full transparency that may be undesirable. Partial transparency, or translucence, is inherent to human personality.”
Many daters are very private by nature and often withhold meaningful information to not create concern too early on. This can backfire later when the other views it as deceitful given the choice to wait to share. Recognizing everyone has a skeleton in their closet is important unless they have chosen to experience adulthood as a hermit. Even then, that can be considered a skeleton.
Research from the PEW Research Center reported in 2023:
- A significant portion of Americans remain skeptical about online dating safety. About 49% of U.S. adults feel dating apps are not a safe way to meet people.
- Views on online dating safety vary by demographic. Women are considerably more likely than men to perceive dating platforms as unsafe (48% vs. 30%).
There are very good reasons why men feel safer dating online. Aside from the fact most like hiding behind a technological platform at first rather than walking in cold to meet a stranger, there are three leading factors that make dating online more attractive.
- Reduced social pressure: As stated above, online dating can help with the anxiety that can manifest when having to approach someone new in person. This can be very intimidating.
- Control over appearance:
In some cases, they can control how they are first viewed online, offering a sense of confidence over how they initially present themselves. Many times, what you see is not what was posted.
- Wider access to people:
Dating apps provide access to a much bigger pool of potential partners. Typically, far beyond a person's immediate social opportunities.
Signs Someone Is Genuine Online
- Consistency in Communication
Real people show up consistently. Their stories, timelines, and details usually align. If they say they’re traveling for work, they might share a specific city or event rather than vague responses. - Balanced Conversation
Authentic people ask about you, not just talk about themselves. If someone only gives surface-level answers or deflects questions, it may be a red flag. - Willingness to Video Chat
Genuine daters are usually open to a quick FaceTime, Zoom, or app-based video call. Reluctance to meet on camera after weeks of chatting is a major warning sign. - Respectful Pace
Someone authentic won’t pressure you into rushing intimacy, sharing private photos, or making big commitments quickly. - Shared Vulnerability
Trustworthy people share little personal quirks, stories, or imperfections that feel human—not rehearsed.
Red Flags to Watch Out For
- Too Perfect Profiles: Only professional photos, no tagged friends, or generic bios can signal catfishing.
- Evasive About Details: If someone dodges basic questions (job, location, background), it’s worth questioning.
- Money Requests: Any request for financial help is a scam. STOP immediately.
- Fast Declarations of Love: Saying “I love you” within days is often emotional manipulation and in some cases immaturity.
- Inconsistent Availability: Always “too busy” to meet in person or on video is a very suspicious indicator.
Expert Insights
- Dr. Ramani Durvasula, clinical psychologist, emphasizes that consistency is key: “When words and actions don’t align, that’s when trust should pause.”
- Kathryn Coduto, Ph.D., media and technology expert, warns that scammers prey on emotional vulnerability: “If it feels rushed or too good to be true, it probably is.”
- Jeffrey Hall, Ph.D., relationship researcher, notes that authenticity is revealed over time: “Trust grows in patterns, not in promises.”
How to Stay Safe While Dating Online
- Verify Profiles: Use reverse image search if you suspect fake photos.
- Meet in Public First: Always choose a safe, neutral location. There should be people around like a busy café or coffee shop.
- Tell a Friend: Share your plans with someone you trust. Make sure they can track your location.
Trust Your Gut: If something feels “off,” it usually is.
Remember:
Online dating is a powerful way to meet new people, but safety must come first. By protecting your privacy, verifying identities, spotting red flags, and setting strong boundaries, you can create space for real connection without unnecessary risk.
AILO™ has gone to great lengths to eliminate some areas of importance when it comes to keeping the online dating experience safer, more private and more authentic.
When you feel safe, you’ll be more open to authentic relationships and that’s when online dating really works.
AILO™ Intl. Inc. specializes in recognizing what couples need to stay engaged and enthused about being in others’ company. It’s not just about likes and dislikes. Human beings are very complicated, and understanding how to offer a balance of life in a relationship creates a long-lasting experience filled with Love. ” Try AILO today”: Authentic. Intelligence. Love. Optimization.
References & Expert Sources
Yes. Romance scams cost users over $1 billion annually (FTC, 2023). Always stay alert. There are many cues that you are signing up for an expensive encounter. The FTC is here to advise you.
Women can protect themselves by meeting in public, verifying profiles, and sharing plans with a friend. Since research shows women are more likely than men to perceive online dating as unsafe, extra steps like tracking location and trusting instincts are especially important.
Asking for money is the clearest sign of a scam.No legitimate dater should ever request financial help; if they do, stop all contact immediately.
Consistently avoiding real-life meetings is a major red flag.If they dodge video calls or in-person meetups, they may be hiding something—or simply not serious about a genuine connection.
No, asking for a video chat is a normal and smart safety step.Genuine daters usually welcome the chance to connect face-to-face, and it shows you value honesty and transparency.
Fake profiles often have too few photos, vague bios, or inconsistent details.Look for mismatched answers across conversations, stock-like images, or profiles that feel too generic to be real.
Related dating stories & insights
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